A 104 degrees
I dip my little toes and pull them out immediately
A sharp pain ... like pain that is familiar these days ...
I Am
back in the  hot springs
right by that silliest town, Ward
At first, burning hot
But I wade in anyway... like I do,
            almost always-already ... who cares what happens later?

Drenched in the  moonlight  
         like shiny healing oil
                  my nakedness glistens
i offer you my bodies
                            all three

surrendering

         Surrendering

to this sweet silent Colorado night

Rich Fegley is offering to let me adopt Decker, the Parson Russell Terrier with who i recently fell in love!! I am nervous about trying to take care of a living being on my own (because I have never done it before). I do know that I can give him tons of love. That's going to be easy.

Rich is even ready to fly him to me from PA, but I have to find someone who can give me a ride to the airport in Denver to pick him up and bring him back to my place in Boulder.

Holy Mother of Pearls, I am, like, so friggin, excited and nervous! 

Here are some photos taken in some rather "high places"

August 2008

Surya means sun, and Sandha means moon in my language (Sinhalese)

I was crossing the road this morning coming to Boulder Integral Center around 9am and I looked to my left and I saw the moon over the hills...big and clear...even at 9am, a sunny, noisy Boulder morning.  To my right, of course, the sun.

Back in the day, I used to wake up next to some long lost love in a room that had, quite literally, glass walls.  I would wake up early, earlier than he would, and listen to our breathing and watch the sun rising from the east, and the moon disappearing behind the mountains in the west.  When I saw the moon this morning, it stopped me in my tracks for just a moment. 

Stunning

I felt, utterly, that need to fall to my knees, except, the furiously flashing orange Stop Walking sign had me scampering with no grace to the other side of the road.   Things come and go so soon

I never want to miss a chance to Bow

to the Surya
to the Sandha
and the precious Sangha of you and me, and the dying-birthing breaths in-between 

So,

let me know when you Awake.


Promise?

Hiarious!

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover,
I'm a child, I'm a mother,
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint,
I do not feel ashamed.
I'm your hell, i'm your dreams,
i'm nothin' in between,
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

(~from alanis morissette)

i have a ton of work to do
i have a shit load of homework to do
i have no idea what the fuck to do with that #3/4
i have laundry to put away
i have to vacuum the floor
comcast has to get in at 8 friggin AM
its just past midnight
the gaia banner above says "explore the realm of your authentic self"
with some woman looking super serene
if my authentic self is super serene, somebody put a gun to my head

all i really want to do right now  is   k  i  s  S  .  Y  o  U .  because

your eyes are so N   a  U  g  h  T  y and they give me such permission to be so

meaningless and mindless

;-)

How                  does     one              cleanse       herself     thoroughly  of         those

grotesque      ghastly        sickening

baptisms,



and          start


replanting


a burnt fortress?


.

It is really quite something that there is a balcony that provides me a second bed these days
On nights like tonight, when it is so late-summer-warm, I sleep out here on this deck
Leaning towards 28th, the faint sound of cars...further to the east, a long line of tiny little headlights.
Oh, did I tell you? I love, absolutely love, watching moving cars in the far away distance - so tiny but it fascinates me no end, because its like life driving Dinkies
Maybe listening to KBCO...Death Cab for Cutie? Again? 

Decker is alert.  Very serious.  Like he needs to protect me from the dark
Either that or he's just dreaming of BBQ-ing that cat next door
A late night jogger
In Boulder, you'll find one any time!

This silky cool air drapes like a shawl over my shoulders
My chain cold around my neck
Dust under my bare feet
In a bit, I'll sit on the deck chair before getting inside the covers to rub my soles against each other
I'm too lazy to go back inside and wash feet again

It is quiet
In here
I mean, in here.
and there
I mean, over there
Wait
That is right here

Dear God, this precious human birth is so bloody beautiful
Guide me in this walk of benediction
Dusty feet and all
Nasty Indian snacks and all
Blasting bombs in Colombo
My exploding heartbeats and all
A breath at a time
Pink cricket balls in England
Stefan's photos and all,
Guide me
Please guide me

In a couple of hours, around 4:30 am, I'll wake up as usual
My head under the duvet
Decker too
It will be much colder outside
I will stand up in the chilly air and look to the east
Watch for a bit the faint sign of another rising sun
The occasional Dinky still driving around
Too cold!
So, I will drag myself back into the room
Dusty feet and all